The Car Ride Home: A Simple Shift for Big Impact

This week, I’m veering off our usual health and wellness path to talk about something that hit close to home for me. As a dad of three boys—two of whom are just starting their youth sports journeys—I came across an episode of Greg Olsen’s podcast, Youth Inc., that really stuck with me. Greg, a former NFL star and dad himself, brought on Dr. Michael Gervais, a world-class sports psychologist, to dive into a topic every sports parent knows: the car ride home.

If you’ve been there, you know the drill. Your kid’s just finished a game or practice, and you’re itching to talk about it. But what Greg and Dr. Gervais laid out is a game-changer: the car ride home can either build your kid up or unintentionally tear them down. Here’s what I learned about turning it into a moment that matters.

Skip the Critique, Start with Reflection

Instead of jumping straight into feedback, make the car ride a time to just listen. Ask open-ended questions like:

• “How did the game feel for you?”

• “What was the best part for you today?”

These questions let your kid take the lead in sharing their experience—in their own words and on their own terms. It’s not about dissecting their performance right away; it’s about creating a space where they feel heard.

Focus on What They Can Control

When it’s time to talk about the game, steer the conversation toward things they can control. Forget the stats or that one missed play. Instead, focus on:

• Their effort: Did they give it their all?

• Their attitude: How did they handle the ups and downs?

• Their teamwork: Did they support their teammates?

This shift helps kids see that their value isn’t tied to the scoreboard. It’s about showing up with the right mindset and giving their best.

Be the Calm Voice

If you’re like me, keeping your competitive energy in check can be tough—especially if you’re coaching, too. But the car ride isn’t the place to be the coach. Instead, it’s your chance to be the steady, calm presence your kid needs.

Dr. Gervais talks about the car as a “safe space,” a place where big feelings are okay. By staying cool and supportive, we show our kids it’s fine to express their emotions without fear of judgment. This kind of modeling teaches emotional resilience better than any pep talk ever could.

Love Them for Who They Are

Here’s the biggie: remind your kids that your love isn’t tied to how they perform. Whether they nailed it or had a rough game, make sure they know their worth goes way beyond the field.

Dr. Gervais said it best: “I love you for who you are, not for how you perform.” Kids need to hear this over and over. It’s a simple message, but it’s a powerful way to boost their confidence and sense of self-worth.

At the end of the day, the car ride home is more than just a trip. It’s a chance to connect with your kid, celebrate their effort, and remind them that you’ve got their back no matter what.

So next time you’re in the car after a game, take a breath. Skip the stats and focus on listening, encouraging, and showing unconditional support. It’s not just about raising better athletes; it’s about raising resilient, happy, confident kids. And honestly, isn’t that the real win?

I’m here to support you on your journey to a healthier, fitter life. As always, I appreciate your feedback and suggestions. Let me know what topics you’d like me to cover in future issues by replying to this email.

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Be well,

Dave

Please note: This newsletter is designed for informational purposes only and should not be taken as professional medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare provider for advice tailored to your health and fitness needs.